He parts his hair down the middle with a ruler and a knife
He brings to the party scene his razor sharp wife
He bends your ear with a secret about his new lover
But what good is a secret when everybody knows
There’s a weasel in the house of monogamy

The weasel is a slender active carnivorous mammal
His feelings of devotion are measured as minimal
He looks at her so lovingly over breakfast
But you know he’s going ratting when he looks his best
There’s a weasel in the house of monogamy

Watch his eyes look right look left
Look right through your paisley dress
Watch his hands the left the right
He left you for another bite of vermin
There’s a weasel in the house of monogamy

The rat is a dirty biting omnivorous rodent
She meets him in the basement of her slum tenament
He drives from the country to the city on a midsummer’s night
He loves the way she takes pleasure in the fight
There’s a weasel in the house of monogamy

He will kill too much to eat
She will spread disease in heat
What an ugly way to kiss
What a lovely pair is this vermin
There’s a weasel in the house of monogamy